Stuff I never thought about: the breast-milk bind

For two days, 130 miles separated me and my baby and given North Dakota's weather, snow, sleet and heavy winds covered nearly all of them.

While we were in Fargo for my husband's surgery, I gave my mother-in-law every ounce (and in some containers, less than that) of milk I'd stored when a feeding tube nourished baby in the NICU. I was fortunate to have the extra supply, another of the few *PLUSES* for babies born with health complications. Without the stockpile, we'd have fed him formula, which is fine. But what if baby gets used to and then prefers the powder on his palate? How do I beckon him back to the breast?

I like to breastfeed. I like the supposed health benefits and I love how inexpensive it is... the only cost to me is the increase in MY calorie consumption. A week or two worth of formula costs $20-$25 or more than $1,000 per year. The added benefit is the bonding time with mother and baby. My kid must hang out with me... I'd better get my fill now before he hits his teenage years and pretends to not know me :)

Because of my NICU supply, I knew I had enough milk reserve for two days, but did I have enough for three days if Mother Nature delayed us?

That's why I now have about four days worth of reserve and I plan to make more. According to La Leche League, if a mother needs to produce milk for two babies, she usually can. So to pump and save at least once each day wouldn't take away from my child's nourishment needs. Store some yourself so this situation doesn't happen to you.

Breast milk is produced on a supply and demand basis, so once the milk is used, the breast makes more, according to LLL. It doesn't run out after a specific number of ounces per day.

That's why some women donate and others store. To store an extra feeding, considering you have a decent pump, only takes about 15 minutes. Those reserves may come in handy if mom is ever sick, gone for longer than expected or enjoys one too many cocktails the night before.  

I hadn't considered this dilemma until the weather got wacky and plans threatened to change. Just thought I'd share. Hope it helps.

Any of you ever been in a breastfeeding bind?

Would you feed your child donated breast milk?

Donated breast milk originally made me turn my nose in disgust. The mere thought of it just sounds... icky. If I couldn’t nurse my child but gave him breast milk from someone else, how could I ensure the milk wasn’t contaminated with HIV or Friday night’s bar crawl?

But after some research, I changed heart. 

The Human Milk Banking Association of North America http://www.hmbana.org/ sets standards for, and helps establish breast milk banks across the continent. Participating hospitals use the milk for premature infants as well as some babies with other medical conditions. In some cases, healthy babies who’ve been adopted also receive the donations. The breast milk protects immature tissue, promotes maturation and also heals tissue damaged by infection, the website says.   

According to this post on babble.com, some medical professionals recommend premie babies drink donated breast milk because it helps them mature and gain weight. The breast milk provides various nutrients baby formula doesn’t. Many mom’s of premature babies can’t nurse because the mothers’ own bodies aren’t ready yet.

Once donated, the milk is screened similarly to a blood donation. Professionals measure its fat and nutrient content before supplying it to hospitals who then supply it to babies. 

As a mother of a child born with medical problems, these banks are important. For some children, doctors say breast milk is vital to their recovery. My son healed without it, but when your child is sick, you’d go to any length and pay any price for his or her recovery.

One of the other reasons I like this donated breast milk idea is for more selfish reasons. Giving requires little- to no money. A woman can be dirt poor and still donate to this cause. 

I’m concerned about my personal finances, especially with the holidays approaching. Maternity leave and NICUs are awesome, but they aren’t so great for the wallet... I like opportunities to give back without the cha-ching. With the status of my bank account these days is more like cha-clunk. :)

Anyways, what an awesome way for new mothers to give back without dishing out the dough. In fact, she doesn’t even have to leave her home or baby save for delivering the donation. 

To give, donors must be in good health, off most medications save for a meds like pre-natal vitamin and progestin-only birth control and willing to donate at least 100 ounces of milk the HMBANA's website says. In most cases, a woman who can donate blood can donate milk, according to this article in USA Today.

North Dakota doesn’t have a breast milk bank, according to HMBANA’s website, but donors can mail the milk to other centers. The nearest are in Denver, Colo., and Coralville, Iowa.   

For more information on giving or receiving breast milk, visit http://www.hmbana.org.

If breast is best, why does it feel like the worst?

My mother bottle-fed me. For all the rest of you breast-fed kids, how did you survive?

Nursing is HARD.

Actually, nursing itself isn’t, but learning to is.

Just because mothers since Eve have performed this act does not make it natural. I was schooled for five days in a hospital where he was monitored 24 hours a day. If my son starved, nurses would know. Had I been home alone, I know I'd have switched to formula for fear my child wasn't eating enough.

The first day we tried nursing, my child screamed so loud South Dakota could hear. And that was with the help of my husband and two professionals. Baby never latched. Not once. After 15 minutes, the nurses took off his little clothes and had us cuddle skin to skin. We don’t want him to associate the breast with frustration, they said. So this happens a lot? I asked. This first attempt was actually a pretty good one, they said. Yikes.

Every time I failed, nurses brought me new tricks and products to try.

Some of them included:

* glucose water: the sweetness is baby’s first bribery
* soft shells for inverted nipples (TMI?),
* a syringe for inverted nipples (Yes, like a shot without the needle. The suction from the syringe pulls your nipple out ** hi dad **) In case you aren’t feeling unattractive enough, stick a plastic tube on your boob.
* lanolin for sore nipples

What finally worked was a nipple shield. It basically turns your bosom into a bottle. PLUS no soreness or cracking! Woot.

And even though the shield is supposed to be a last resort... natural boob-to-mouth is best... I use it each time. The nurses and lactation consultants warned me to ween my child, but I didn't. Maybe I should have tried harder. But the shield worked. Finally, something worked! And I’d rather have my child eating through a plastic nipple tube than starving. It's no better or worse than an actual bottle, me thinks.

Note: By his two-week check up, my little porker had gained 8 ounces. Doctors only expect two-week-olds to return to their original birth weight. He went from 7 lbs, 2 ounces to 7 lbs 10 ounces in 15 days. Also, a nurse weighed him before and after a feeding to see how much he ate. He'd eaten 3.3 ounces on one side alone. Most babies his age eat 2-3 ounces total. Added bonus: I’m 1 lbs lighter than my first trimester... and that’s not from Jenny Craig either. Nurturing a breast-feeding relationship is worth it, yeah yeah sure sure, for the nutritional benefits to the child. But even if it didn't, think how good I'll look by swimsuit season!

Not sure how many details people want to read about how I nurse my child, but I write about it because breast feeding is SO difficult. If it took me, my husband, several professionals and multiple breast-feeding products to succeed, it must be almost impossible for a new mom to figure it out on her own. I know very little about parenting, but if my little bit of experience helps someone else, I'll write about even my sutures down under too.

I hope this helps calm a new mother's frustration and convince her she can do it too.