Thursday, December 23, 2010

Children are the best birth control

Children respond well to routine. Completing daily tasks in consistent order give cues to the little ones: after we read, it's bath time, after bath time, we sleep. Routines help them find order and security in the chaotic world around them.

So after a 9-hour car ride, (not routine), I lay Cole to rest in his Pack N' Play (he usually sleeps in his swing) and without a swadle. (He's grown too big and strong.)

When he woke up at 11:30 and 1 and 3 and 5 and 6 and 8, I wondered why.

Dumb.

But in the midst of my waking, feeding, changing and rocking, I could think of only one thing: vasectomy prices.

Exhausted and changing a diaper in the dark, I bent to carry Cole to his sleeping station.

One Hershey squirt later and he soiled the diaper I'd just changed.

Still exhausted and in the dark, I waited patiently, wondering if Hershey squirt traveled alone or with friends.

After a few minutes, I opened his diaper again.

And he peed on me.

1 comment:

  1. Munchkin Number 3 pulled a fast one on me today. His diaper smelled, so I went to change it. The minute it was off? The kid pooped with a vengeance - spraying it everywhere. Then, as I was cleaning him up enough to throw him in the shower, he peed all over me and himself. Done? Nope. He was clean, lotioned up and cozily dressed when he decided to projectile vomit all over me and himself while Cowgirl was shouting, "Hold him over the sink!" Yeah, not so much.

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