Raise the bar on raising children

* The "What to Expect the First Year" mommy book tells readers to comfort a crying infant as soon as possible. To not may result in a frustrated and angry child with a diminished ability to communicate.

* Grandmothers advise bottling water for a hiccuping baby. Grandfathers say its not the water, but the temperature, that's the problem: Hiccuping babies are just cold. NICU nurses say do nothing, in fact, don't even worry. Hiccups happen, they said.

* Keep a child awake so he'll sleep at night, parents of adult children say. Overtire your child and he WON'T sleep at night, "What to Expect" says.

One need not look far for advice on parenting. The problem is, however, advice is sometimes conflicting.

The New York Times parenting blog writes today about various parenting styles and philosophies. Some parents make child-rearing into a competitive sport while others take a more laissez-faire, do-what-feels-right, approach, it says.   

Are you a member of the "directed play category or do you belong on the "what's-directed-play" shelf?

My child is seven weeks old. His play is limited to making funny faces and staring at ceiling fans.

I wasn't raised in a "must-be-the-best"-type household, but I was raised with every opportunity to excel. My mother, a teacher, had me reciting the ABCs and reading books before I graduated from training pants. I attended private schools and I took math and reading classes designed for students a year ahead of me in school.

My brother and I were banned from watching Bart Simpson, let alone movies of the Rated R variety. My parents never let us have TVs in our rooms and Nintendo wasn't something we owned until my brother and I aged in the double digits.

I don't say that to brag. I say that because I'm not sure any of it mattered. Don't tell my mom.

Despite my parents' best efforts, I'm not sure the censorship and the pre-kindergarten learning sessions made a significant difference in my outcome as an adult. The unruly kids in school, the ones who watched MTV and whose parents didn't seem to mind if they consumed alcohol as high schoolers, Facebook makes it seem that they are as happy and successful as me.

So what's the best way to raise a child, how do you know and who do you listen to?

I'm not sure how parents determine if they successfully raised a child, but if that success is measured in "ability to pay bills," "number of times not in jail" and "perception of overall happiness," it seems that all my childhood friends are faring just fine.

Does parenting style matter? Does the nature in nurture vs. nature over-rule any parenting influence? What about the extreme cases, where small children are abnormally violent and angry? Does that come from parenting style? Or is it inherent in the character of the child?

How do you raise/plan to raise your children?